Saturday, March 12, 2005

The B&B&C(hrist)

I need to find a new place to live. It doesn't have to be permanent, but I need to get out of the B&B as soon as possible. It's not the cost (the place is expensive, though.) It's not even the issue of the dying motorcycle noises the plumbing makes in the middle of the night. No, the reason is much more basic:

The owner of this B&B is certifably insane.

I didn't notice the Christian paraphenelia when I arrived, and even when I did notice it, it didn't seem overwhelming or unusual. I even brushed off the first time his wife asked me if I was a Christian, since it was in the context of whether or not I wanted to use some church-based roommate service in my house-hunting. I have nothing against religious people, and the couple seemed nice enough.

Then I found a reprint of this article in the Cambridge city guide they had helpfully assembled for visitors. Yes, the owner of the B&B believes he is a prophet who predicted the 9/11 terrorist attacks, amongst other things. The end of the world is coming soon. He has published two books about this, and is aparently widely known in the religious crackpot community (now I understand why 2/3 of the guests in the log are from the American south and midwest.) And let's not forget his previous occupation - defrauding honest people in order to enrich himself. Now am I being cynical, or does his admission of guilt and conversion to Christ at exactly the point when the government was about to arrest him for massive tax fraud seem a little bit too convenient?

I'm being too harsh. These are really nice people who've done a lot of charity work through the church in places where the water makes your poop yellow. They've been very nice and have not once attempted to convert me to their insanity. But I still need a new place to live.

There is one other weird thing about this episode. Four hours before I found myself stuck in a B&B run by end times lunatics, I was relating to my co-workers that quite a lot of American Christian fundamentalists now believe that RFID tags are the mark of the beast, and we all had a good laugh over those silly Americans. So I guess the moral of the story is that God does exist, is British, and has an ironic sense of humor.

4 Comments:

Blogger Ducky said...

Wow, the name of the Pension alone would have raised a huge red flag for me. But then again, I was a card-carrying brainwashed member of the religious right in the States for eight years. (Don't worry, I've achieved a full recovery.)

How long are you able to stay at this place? From my experiences, I was under the impression that most Pension/B&B/Hostels don't take kindly to visitors who stay over a week or so.

6:05 AM  
Blogger Logan said...

Given that they are not doing particularly brisk business (except on weekends) I think they're just happy to have the money.

Plus, I don't do the second B.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous John said...

Why not? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Even strange fundementalist breakfast. Except when it includes grits. Grits are nasty. They should get rid of the coverup and just call them cold snot. Of course... they are fundmentalists.

9:52 AM  
Blogger NotDaryl said...

I agree. Pension are a race of cruel and belligerent hemotopes that serve not greater purpose then spreading the golden word of God. But to group them in with fundementalists is just wrong. Just because we're one notch below white supremists doesn't mean you can label us "extreme". So there. Grits rock!

10:11 AM  

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