Can we just elect Rambo and be done with it?
A theoretical 3AM exchange between President (shudder) John McCain and Secretery of Defense (double-shudder) Joe Lieberman.
The phone rings at 3:00AM in the White House...
John McCain: Uhh... huh? I didn't order a pizza.
Secretery of Defense Joe Lieberman: No Pizza, sir. It's me, Joe. We have a situation.
JM: Anchovies? I hate goddamn anchovies.
JL: Sir, it's me! We have a situation.
JM: Situation?!? Hot damn! Hold on Joe, let me find my Bombing Cap.
JL: Your what?
JM: Bombing Cap! You know how some people have a thinking cap? Cindy! Where's my bombing cap?
Cindy McCain: On the nightstand, by my Xanax. Same place as always.
JL: Sir, I haven't even told you what this is about yet.
JM: Got my bombing cap on now, Joe. Who we gonna bomb today?
JL: Sir, we don't need to bomb anybody. There's been an uprising in the capital of Myanmar, and...
JM: Myanwhat now?
JL: Myanmar. It used to be Burma.
JM: Like the shaving gel?
JL: No, sir. The Myanmarese are claiming that rebels...
JM: Myanmarese? Sure that's what they're called? Not Myanmartians, or Myanaise?
JL: Sir, can we please stick to the topic? This is an important...
JM: Gooks? Can we call them gooks?
JL: ...situation and we need to have an apropriate response.
JM: RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!
JL: Come again, sir?
JM: It's called getting yourself PSYCHED FOR BATTLE, Lieberman! Try it with me! RRRRRRARRRRRRRR...
JL: Um... Rarrrrrrrr...
JM: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!
JL: Arrrrrrrgh.
JM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!
JM: Sir, could we get back to the Myanmar situation?
JM: Those Myanmartians! I've never forgiven them for the death of my son! RRARRRRRRRRGH! AAAARRRRH!
JL: Sir, I think you're getting them confused with the Klingons in Star Trek III.
JM: WE'LL BOMB THEM TOO! RARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
JL: The Klingons? Sir we can't bomb...
JM: Joe, I didn't make you my SecDef so you could go around NOT BOMBING PEOPLE.
JL: We can't bomb fictional characters!
JM: Well then can we bomb William Shatner's house?
JL: Certainly sir.
JM: Make it so, number one.
The phone rings at 3:00AM in the White House...
John McCain: Uhh... huh? I didn't order a pizza.
Secretery of Defense Joe Lieberman: No Pizza, sir. It's me, Joe. We have a situation.
JM: Anchovies? I hate goddamn anchovies.
JL: Sir, it's me! We have a situation.
JM: Situation?!? Hot damn! Hold on Joe, let me find my Bombing Cap.
JL: Your what?
JM: Bombing Cap! You know how some people have a thinking cap? Cindy! Where's my bombing cap?
Cindy McCain: On the nightstand, by my Xanax. Same place as always.
JL: Sir, I haven't even told you what this is about yet.
JM: Got my bombing cap on now, Joe. Who we gonna bomb today?
JL: Sir, we don't need to bomb anybody. There's been an uprising in the capital of Myanmar, and...
JM: Myanwhat now?
JL: Myanmar. It used to be Burma.
JM: Like the shaving gel?
JL: No, sir. The Myanmarese are claiming that rebels...
JM: Myanmarese? Sure that's what they're called? Not Myanmartians, or Myanaise?
JL: Sir, can we please stick to the topic? This is an important...
JM: Gooks? Can we call them gooks?
JL: ...situation and we need to have an apropriate response.
JM: RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!
JL: Come again, sir?
JM: It's called getting yourself PSYCHED FOR BATTLE, Lieberman! Try it with me! RRRRRRARRRRRRRR...
JL: Um... Rarrrrrrrr...
JM: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!
JL: Arrrrrrrgh.
JM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!
JM: Sir, could we get back to the Myanmar situation?
JM: Those Myanmartians! I've never forgiven them for the death of my son! RRARRRRRRRRGH! AAAARRRRH!
JL: Sir, I think you're getting them confused with the Klingons in Star Trek III.
JM: WE'LL BOMB THEM TOO! RARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
JL: The Klingons? Sir we can't bomb...
JM: Joe, I didn't make you my SecDef so you could go around NOT BOMBING PEOPLE.
JL: We can't bomb fictional characters!
JM: Well then can we bomb William Shatner's house?
JL: Certainly sir.
JM: Make it so, number one.
posted by Logan J. Kunz at 6:37 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home